Sex is a basic human need; but when sex is used incorrectly it can cause you anxiety, guilt, depression, disease, unplanned pregnancies, and low self-esteem. In his book Sex is Not the Problem, Lust Is, author Joshua Harris says, “Neither sex or sexuality is our enemy.” He goes on to suggest, “We need to rescue our sexuality from lust so we can experience it as God intended.” #1
The concept of planning and maintaining your Sexual Integrity may be a new thought for you, or perhaps one that you continue to struggle with in your daily life.
Lisa Brook of Focus on the Family gives 5 hints on helping you to make decisions about you and sex… how do you make the right decisions about when - and with whom you should have sex. #2
- Make a Commitment
If you’ve made wise decisions about what’s right for your life (aka a personalized Sexual Integrity plan), you won’t be as likely to give in to undesired behavior.
- Keep Your Brain in Control
Even though your body may send other messages, remember having sex even one time can negatively affect your life forever.
- Keep Yourself Out of Irresistible Situations
Be prepared to say “no”, but stay out of settings that might require you to say “no”.
- Have a Plan
Set your Sexual Integrity boundaries and stick to them. Compromising your Plan will lead to compromising your future goals, one way or another.
- It’s Never to Late to Start Over
You can still set new, better boundaries to get your sex life on the right track.
You need to take personal responsibility for your Sexual Integrity plan, which includes being around people who will honor and respect your decisions. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend in their book Safe People #3 write about the importance of your individual responsibility and the responsibilities of another person. They suggest that a safe person will respect the boundaries you have set; that they will not treat you like a child; and they are willing to forgive you and not condemn you. Safe people in your life are responsible and are able to admit their faults, rather than blame others. “Emotional intimacy is key to a thriving, growing love, and it is difficult to feel when there is not expectation of empathy.” #4
Looking at your future with your personalized Sexual Integrity plan as the blueprint to achieving your goals and dreams, will keep you healthy- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and will better position you to ultimately enjoy the benefits of a real, meaningful relationship instead of settling for a counterfeit experience.
Portland Lifeguard is a program designed with you in mind. We understand what you are facing and your desire to be a person YOU can look at in the mirror.
You are a person of value and worth. You can start today toward building a future that will make you proud.
Portland Lifeguard is here to help you reach your full potential using your head to guide your heart.
#1 Sex is Not the Problem, Lust Is, Harris, Joshua 2005
#2 www.focusonthefamily.com accessed 2011
#3 Safe People, Drs. Cloud, Henry and Townsend, John 1996
#4 Sharon Schutle on www.focusonthefamily.com accessed 2011